Saturday 30 March 2013
Day 87: Thermometers
"Excuse me, but do you have a thermometer that you can stick up a dog's bum?"
We were shopping for Kia's whelping kit, and the nature of our purchases necessitated some awkward conversations.
Apparently KY Jelly has more than one use.
We eventually found a thermometer at the Feeds'N Needs.
A horse thermometer.
A mercury horse thermometer.
In order to read a mercury thermometer, you need a degree in astrophysics.
No one told me that.
I found it out myself 'round about the same time as I held a well-lubricated and poo-smeared thermometer up to the bedroom light and saw ... nothing.
Except poo.
And glistening globs of KY Jelly.
Apparently, you're supposed to wipe it off first.
After two equally unsuccessful attempts, we decided to raise the temperature by putting the thermometer into a jar of hot water and learning to read it before inserting it into the dog's rectum.
I put the thermometer into the jar and counted to 60.
Nothing.
I shook it.
Nothing.
I peered a little closer.
Through the glass, I could discern a thread of silver that was definitely not a reflection.
"Success!" I thought.
And then I peered a lot closer.
"Hey Nate, the tip of this thermometer looks like it's broken."
We held it up to the bathroom light.
"No, I think it just came like that," he said.
And then I gave it one more little shake.
Yup.
It was broken.
I spent the rest of the night freaking out and reading government websites on how to properly clean up and dispose of small mercury spills.
Nathan spent the rest of the night actually doing the work.
Did you know that you can find infinitesimally small mercury beads by turning out the lights and shining a flashlight at a low angle to the floor? The mercury reflects the light, and you can pick up the beads using a piece of tape.
This is never fun, but is particularly trying at 2:00 am on a cold spring night with the windows open to provide ventilation.
Our floor has never been more thoroughly searched.
He found the broken thermometer tip on one of my favorite comfy sweaters that had the bad luck to be in the vicinity.
Too bad I hadn't put it in the laundry basket where it belonged.
Because anything porous that mercury lands on cannot be washed and needs to be properly disposed of.
No more sweater.
And finally, no more mercury.
The next day, I bought a digital rectal thermometer at Pet Smart.
And I will never buy a mercury thermometer again.
The End.
Have a happy, mercury-free Easter!
Monday 25 March 2013
Day 82: Hotdogs
My hands smell like hotdogs.
Microwaved hotdogs.
Yuck.
Hotdogs are my latest version of a cheap, high-value treat that will motivate Sam to continue his training journey. Don't get me wrong - Sam is a wonderful fur friend. He just lives up to his name.
You see, Sam's namesake is Sampson of Biblical fame.
Sam and Sampson have a lot in common.
They got tied to stuff.
They are really strong.
They got their hair cut off.
And they LOVE the ladies.
Well, Sam's not actually too particular. Guy dogs, girl dogs, he'll do them all.
Except for the little ones.
I think he thinks they're cats.
After two near misses, we decided that Sam shouldn't go to the dog park until he was surgically altered and no longer able to sow his seed.
Have you ever chased your love-struck dog around a fenced-in area while others watched in amusement?
While the object of his affections (a young male pit bull) didn't seem to mind, his owner certainly did.
I can say this - at least Sam's persistent.
Although he can get excited, Sam really likes hanging out with other dogs. Mounting isn't an issue if I keep a leash and a close eye on him. But when Kia went into heat, Sam's hormones went into overdrive. He paced and panted and howled and refused food. We kept them both away from other dogs.
And then things went back to normal.
And then spring came.
And more people than just us were walking their dogs.
And Sam wanted to meet them all.
Before I continue, I should mention that since we got him in December, Sam has come a long way.
He went from constantly pacing and pulling and trying to hug everyone we met to walking calmly by my side, sitting quietly, and accepting pats from even the smallest of children.
He will sit, stay, and lie down on command inside or out. (Come is a little more iffy!)
He no longer tries to hug casual passers-by (although house-guests are sometimes fair game).
He will wait in the busy Superstore parking lot and let people coo over him, then carry our groceries home in his backpack.
He even came to school with me. He stayed totally relaxed and obedient in a strange room in front of a crowd of fifty grade three students while I gave a presentation - and then he let everyone pet him after. Teachers and students alike commented on how well-behaved he was. They couldn't believe we'd only had him for a few months.
But all his training goes out the window when he approaches another dog on a leash.
He pulls towards them and whimpers and whines.
And he is strong.
At first, I decided to use a halti.
But it made things worse.
Because it stopped him from looking at the other dog as it passed him, he would struggle frantically to break free and bark like a maniac. And he is big. Almost as tall as me.
No more halti. Just me and my painfully inadequate muscles.
Too many creme eggs and not enough weightlifting, me thinks.
While there are plenty of dogs in our area, we don't meet enough on any given walk to do any actual training. But there is the dog park.
Ah yes. The dog park.
The fence keeps dogs in. But it also keeps dogs out.
So if you see a shadowy figure wandering around outside the dog park with a big, black, fluffy dog and a pocket full of sliced hotdogs, you know who it is.
And - surprisingly - it's working well.
We work and walk closer every time.
I walk away if he gets excited.
I reward him when he notices another dog and remains calm.
As soon as he realized hotdogs were involved, he got calm pretty quickly.
Last night, on our way home, I was busy cleaning up a pile of poo and didn't notice another dog walking towards us.
Sam did.
He still pulled, but I didn't hear a single whimper. Both dogs sniffed each other politely, and then we moved on. I gave Sam a sliver of hot dog.
"There's a light at the end of this tunnel/Shining bright at the end of this tunnel..." - Third Day
I just have to keep walking toward it.
And if it is a train, I just hope it's got a bathroom. Because I need to wash my hands.
Nuked hotdog smell never really goes away.
Anyway, happy Tuesday!
T minus 7 days...
Completely random note:
Nathan just suggested we put Kia's milk in a bowl and feed it to the cats until the puppies come.
Say what?
I hope he was joking.
Microwaved hotdogs.
Yuck.
Hotdogs are my latest version of a cheap, high-value treat that will motivate Sam to continue his training journey. Don't get me wrong - Sam is a wonderful fur friend. He just lives up to his name.
You see, Sam's namesake is Sampson of Biblical fame.
Sam and Sampson have a lot in common.
They got tied to stuff.
They are really strong.
They got their hair cut off.
And they LOVE the ladies.
Well, Sam's not actually too particular. Guy dogs, girl dogs, he'll do them all.
Except for the little ones.
I think he thinks they're cats.
After two near misses, we decided that Sam shouldn't go to the dog park until he was surgically altered and no longer able to sow his seed.
Have you ever chased your love-struck dog around a fenced-in area while others watched in amusement?
While the object of his affections (a young male pit bull) didn't seem to mind, his owner certainly did.
I can say this - at least Sam's persistent.
Although he can get excited, Sam really likes hanging out with other dogs. Mounting isn't an issue if I keep a leash and a close eye on him. But when Kia went into heat, Sam's hormones went into overdrive. He paced and panted and howled and refused food. We kept them both away from other dogs.
And then things went back to normal.
And then spring came.
And more people than just us were walking their dogs.
And Sam wanted to meet them all.
Before I continue, I should mention that since we got him in December, Sam has come a long way.
He went from constantly pacing and pulling and trying to hug everyone we met to walking calmly by my side, sitting quietly, and accepting pats from even the smallest of children.
He will sit, stay, and lie down on command inside or out. (Come is a little more iffy!)
He no longer tries to hug casual passers-by (although house-guests are sometimes fair game).
He will wait in the busy Superstore parking lot and let people coo over him, then carry our groceries home in his backpack.
He even came to school with me. He stayed totally relaxed and obedient in a strange room in front of a crowd of fifty grade three students while I gave a presentation - and then he let everyone pet him after. Teachers and students alike commented on how well-behaved he was. They couldn't believe we'd only had him for a few months.
But all his training goes out the window when he approaches another dog on a leash.
He pulls towards them and whimpers and whines.
And he is strong.
At first, I decided to use a halti.
But it made things worse.
Because it stopped him from looking at the other dog as it passed him, he would struggle frantically to break free and bark like a maniac. And he is big. Almost as tall as me.
No more halti. Just me and my painfully inadequate muscles.
Too many creme eggs and not enough weightlifting, me thinks.
While there are plenty of dogs in our area, we don't meet enough on any given walk to do any actual training. But there is the dog park.
Ah yes. The dog park.
The fence keeps dogs in. But it also keeps dogs out.
So if you see a shadowy figure wandering around outside the dog park with a big, black, fluffy dog and a pocket full of sliced hotdogs, you know who it is.
And - surprisingly - it's working well.
We work and walk closer every time.
I walk away if he gets excited.
I reward him when he notices another dog and remains calm.
As soon as he realized hotdogs were involved, he got calm pretty quickly.
Last night, on our way home, I was busy cleaning up a pile of poo and didn't notice another dog walking towards us.
Sam did.
He still pulled, but I didn't hear a single whimper. Both dogs sniffed each other politely, and then we moved on. I gave Sam a sliver of hot dog.
"There's a light at the end of this tunnel/Shining bright at the end of this tunnel..." - Third Day
I just have to keep walking toward it.
And if it is a train, I just hope it's got a bathroom. Because I need to wash my hands.
Nuked hotdog smell never really goes away.
Anyway, happy Tuesday!
T minus 7 days...
Completely random note:
Nathan just suggested we put Kia's milk in a bowl and feed it to the cats until the puppies come.
Say what?
I hope he was joking.
Day 81: Catching Up
Well. It has been a while.
These days it feels like I am counting down ... not up.
T minus 8 days until the due date for my review of Alice Walker's The Color Purple.
T minus 8 days until the book fair.
T minus 8 days until puppies could arrive.
Hehe. See my dilemma?
On the plus side, my editor gave me a generous extension for my review.
On the plus side, most of the book fair prep will be done this week.
On the plus side, Nate has promised to stay home if Kia pops during the week of the book fair.
On the plus side, I've spent the last 30 days of blogger silence ... being productive!
Well, mostly.
The laundry still isn't folded.
And the cat litter needs to be changed.
My creative brain undulates between art and writing like a hungry jellyfish between two peanut butter sandwiches.
And then life takes away the peanut butter.
Burners break.
Toasters break. (And miraculously revive the next day. Apparently my computer isn't the only zombie in the house.)
Budgets stretch.
Potatoes go on sale. (Yes! I love potatoes. If you ever need some good recipes, let me know.)
Sam runs away. (I get him back. Thank goodness he likes getting in strange cars with strange women.)
Sam drinks my coffee.
I drink my coffee - just before going to bed. Bad idea. Hello wee sma's! I just love seeing you on Monday morning.
Even when life is going smoothly, there are never enough hours in the day.
Although there would probably be more if I stopped reading while cooking, cleaning, and putting on makeup.
Honestly, though, I have worked hard on my art skills and feel like I've learned a lot. I finished one commission drawing for a friend, and have another to finish as well. I will post pics after they've received them.
I am also working on my first painting. It terrifies me because I literally have no idea what I'm doing. Every time I add another element to the painting, I fear it will be irrevocably ruined. Thank goodness acrylic paint is opaque, because I've painted the sky at least five times.
And since my brain is slowly grinding to a halt, good night for now.
Stay safe. Don't read and cook.
These days it feels like I am counting down ... not up.
T minus 8 days until the due date for my review of Alice Walker's The Color Purple.
T minus 8 days until the book fair.
T minus 8 days until puppies could arrive.
Hehe. See my dilemma?
On the plus side, my editor gave me a generous extension for my review.
On the plus side, most of the book fair prep will be done this week.
On the plus side, Nate has promised to stay home if Kia pops during the week of the book fair.
On the plus side, I've spent the last 30 days of blogger silence ... being productive!
Well, mostly.
The laundry still isn't folded.
And the cat litter needs to be changed.
My creative brain undulates between art and writing like a hungry jellyfish between two peanut butter sandwiches.
And then life takes away the peanut butter.
Burners break.
Toasters break. (And miraculously revive the next day. Apparently my computer isn't the only zombie in the house.)
Budgets stretch.
Potatoes go on sale. (Yes! I love potatoes. If you ever need some good recipes, let me know.)
Sam runs away. (I get him back. Thank goodness he likes getting in strange cars with strange women.)
Sam drinks my coffee.
I drink my coffee - just before going to bed. Bad idea. Hello wee sma's! I just love seeing you on Monday morning.
Even when life is going smoothly, there are never enough hours in the day.
Although there would probably be more if I stopped reading while cooking, cleaning, and putting on makeup.
Honestly, though, I have worked hard on my art skills and feel like I've learned a lot. I finished one commission drawing for a friend, and have another to finish as well. I will post pics after they've received them.
I am also working on my first painting. It terrifies me because I literally have no idea what I'm doing. Every time I add another element to the painting, I fear it will be irrevocably ruined. Thank goodness acrylic paint is opaque, because I've painted the sky at least five times.
And since my brain is slowly grinding to a halt, good night for now.
Stay safe. Don't read and cook.
Perfect.
Kia just started to lactate.
I'm not going to lie ... dog milk sort of grosses me out.
What a world, what a world.
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