Warning. Don't read this post if you have a weak stomach.
I had an unusual wake-up call yesterday morning.
I slipped in a pile of dog barf. Not even a pile, really.
More like a lake.
And it wasn't really barf - in the traditional sense of the word. More like what happens when one dog eats all of her food, then the rest of the other dog's food, then gorges on water.
It was also all over my pants.
So if you looked in my window this morning and wondered why I was standing with no pants on in the middle of my kitchen, attempting to wash the floor with an empty Swiffer Wet Jet ... now you know.
Swiffer Wet jets are designed to run dry the moment you REALLY need them.
I used a towel instead. This was a good idea ... until I put the towel directly into the washing machine, which was still filled with my just-washed dress clothes waiting to be hung up to dry.
And then it got worse.
I took a shower. This is significant only because Sam immediately loses all control over his bowel movements if no one is visibly present. He's fine if we put him in his crate. But yesterday morning, I forgot.
As soon as I remembered this crucial piece of information, I flung open shower curtain. Sam was lying on the floor just outside the shower. PHEW! I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
And then I smelled it.
CRAP. (In both senses of the word.)
So if you looked in my (open) window this morning and wondered why I was shivering in a wet towel (not the same one), in an attitude of prayer over a small brown mound on a pink carpet ... now you know.
At least Sam doesn't have diarrhea anymore.
Or worms. You do NOT want me to tell you my worm stories.
They were still moving when they came out.
As I rushed out the door on my way to work, I remembered ... Tuesday is garbage day!
Do you think that handsome husband of mine remembered to take out the trash?
Yes. Yes he did. There was even room by the curb for one more bag of you-know-what.
Nathan, you are my sanity. What's left of it anyway.
Happy belated Tuesday, everyone! Here's to a better Wednesday.
oh you make me laugh! Im excited when i see you wrote another blog, my chaos with my children fades into the background while i read your blog and laugh. Thanks for being my first laugh of the day! Keep writing! - charity
ReplyDeleteIf blogs had a "like" button, I would like your comment! Thanks, Charity!
DeleteSo do not read with weak stomach.....weak stomach...yes....warned....yes....read anyway....yes!That comment was my incentive for reading!You have given me at least 10 reasons to never have a pet.....at least a 4 legged one.But then again my mother taught me to NEVER say Never.....Yikes!!Sharon
ReplyDeleteYour mom is right ... I think some pets choose you. But if your pets throw up and you live close enough I will come help you clean it up! :)
DeleteONCE AGAIN you have me in stitches and i realize that when im scrubbing the poo out of my dogs teeth I should be just thankful that he is only about 8 lbs and his poop is not of the nfld variety,......write on girl...your awesome!
ReplyDeleteThank you Paula! I am really really glad my dogs don't eat poo.
Deletelisa this is no lie....its gotten so bad that last night I had nightmares that I had twin babies and they were in the backyard not only eating but playing in piles of dog poo HELPPPPPPPP LOL
ReplyDeleteI think you can buy stuff at PetSmart that stops them from eating poo. I'll check tomorrow ... I'm borrowing Susie's hedgehog and want to buy some meal worms for it - and I might be buying Kia diapers, as she seems to be coming into heat a little early! :(
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